The Hovel

Precipice alert

2011-02-16T02:40:00.005+11:00

Put a hold on searching seek/job aps for a snack break, get a phone call from my sis, glance over at the modem and see a fuckin red light denoting no Internet. Pain on the ass, make a mental note to deal with that fucker when I get off the phone, but also thinking -yep applied for 7 ok-ish jobs, take a break for the day, hit up the gov site tomorrow, ze Internet/damned modem fucking around is a sign.
Phone call ends, modem is all green lights, Internet working once more.
Guilt free plans of continued job search deferral FOILLED

Rien d'important

2011-01-27T14:29:00.004+11:00

I didn't realise i would be so affected by my latest job. It is probably the lowest of all lows I've ever felt...and I was only there for one week of intensive training.

It was a job in which the hours were the main reason i applied. I thought i could just switch off, do my 5 hour shift, and not have a problem. The training didn't do much in allaying my concerns that I was cut out for the job. The facilitators glossed over my concerns and so did my recruitment consultant, or so it seemed.

Did I handle things well? Not particularly. Did I feel the job was not suitable? Yes, but I didn't want to admit it straight away. Should I have given the job a chance? I don't know, I don't think so. I duly deliberated in making this decision, but what it came down to, was feeling physically unable to leave the house to go to work.
A heavy heavy weight, that verge point of sadness, a feeling mixed of wanting to cry and sleep and sit in a darkened room........fuck

Until the last day of training, i did not grasp the high emotional toll of the job. Non-stop tension. Regardless of the hours, if I am unable to separate myself from the job once my shift ends, if the day's emotion bleeds over in to my time, my life...this is something i can not abide by. I do not want to feel contempt, or to be bitter. I do not want a 'work/life' balance that places such a high level of emotional strain as this job did.

I feel inadequate.

I usually end up doing a lot of things i don't want to, or don't feel comfortable in doing, because most of the time it makes things a lot easier not to fuss, or to say no. But here, in this situation, my body spoke for me. The amount of tension coursing through my body made me stop and think about 'WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS?' Clearly there is an underlying issue I have with this job. What is it that makes me feel such intense disgust?

The job is not worth it if it makes me hate myself. A principle i put in to practice today.

* I still feel inadequate because i did not harden the fuck up and just do it, but i feel an immense sense of relief and know that better things will come of this.

2010-11-08T00:07:00.001+11:00

Fuck Thursday

tamworth conversations

2010-10-22T15:16:00.003+11:00

man- my wife never leaves the house without makeup and heels
me- really?
man- yes
me- ha i'm the opposite, i never wear heels, i'm a slob
man- but they elongate the leg
me- i don't need them, i'm 6ft
man- but they elongate the leg
me- i already have long legs
man- but they would be longer
me- i already have a 35in inseam

*ARGH* seriously?? wtf don't talk to me.

fruuuuuu

2010-09-13T13:05:00.003+10:00

I quit my job...after 18 months. Relieved, but also uncertain about the future.
Things i have discovered: sometimes money just isn't enough.

MONORAIL

2010-08-31T16:43:00.000+10:00

they'll use the monorail
~monorail~monorail~monorail~MONORAIL~

they keep calling me

2010-08-06T12:43:00.000+10:00

Happybot, 27 isn't looming

2010-06-30T20:38:00.001+10:00

Not a moment too soon. thank fuck.

destination...

2010-06-06T22:01:00.001+10:00

...squee town.
Status......arrived

too much of nothing

2010-06-02T21:08:00.000+10:00

good coffee and a brief chat = feels like days not months. nice.

keep on rocking it

2010-05-28T12:10:00.003+10:00

such anxiety I couldn't go to work. I didn't left the house until 6:30pm. aaiiieeee, total shut in.
But my outing for coffee and cake led to a major brain zing/project writing break through and some fucked up but highly entertaining conversations about fake breasts as udders and underarm nipples.

interpretations of cool

2010-05-17T21:27:00.002+10:00

interpretations of cool.....is actually interpretations of card. CARD, gets me every time.

all in capitals

2010-05-10T18:52:00.002+10:00

21 days later is unacceptable for a return email from a real estate agent. I forgot i had actually emailed them.

My brother asked me to alter a pair of pants and a shirt for a job interview he has. We briefly discussed the alterations he wanted while we were on the train. So when i got to sewing, it seemed very very final cutting things. Really didn't want to stuff things.
Once it's cut, it is point of no return.

Had a dream about a dress the other night/morning, now to buy fabric and make it. It was great, I saw the dress, the details and had narration on how it was made with little notes on the pattern. Interesting to see how it will turn out, and how worthy dream instructions are.

knave dearest

2010-05-08T23:42:00.002+10:00

one month, two months, three months more. Doesn't feel that long, but it is.

sewing sweet delights

2010-05-08T23:32:00.003+10:00

renewed love for sewing and the sewing machine. Currently making a lederhosen/pinafore from grey woolen fabric i picked up on the cheap ages ago. I sewed my first zipper yesterday using the zipper foot and it was easy easy.
Spent today sewing curtains to take to the farm for my mum. Everything is very neat, over-stitched, blind hemming.
I had fun trying new things, new stitches with the machine.
Have plans for more more more sewing.

2010-04-19T23:00:00.001+10:00

doing stupid things more frequently. Annoying.

2010-04-13T22:35:00.002+10:00

minimal energy making it really difficult to do creative work. I know what i need to do, but actually doing it is a struggle. Luckily only have 5.5h shifts at work for the rest of the week.

2010-04-11T17:42:00.001+10:00

Saw the most beautiful boy ever today. Never seen anyone like that in my entire life.

2010-04-10T11:35:00.000+10:00

whoops, wrecked it. oh well, will start a new

2010-04-03T21:04:00.003+11:00

Thursday night, what a start, wake up i've fallen asleep in the bath. Newspaper sodden, the only good news is the water is still warm, couldn't have been out for too long.
Wake up once more this time in bed, looking like shit, hair a mess felling like the dead. Get showered, get dressed, pack my bag go to meet my bro. Get a message he hsn't left heidelberg.
Good Friday, most things shut, city eerily quiet. Sit by Bourke st to people watch a bit, scared off by an eldery couple staring at me.
Call my mum, tell her i'm still waiting, message my bro to ask if he's anywhere near the city. Find out his next bus departs in 45 minutes. get up, head towards Spring st. SWalk super slow, cut down alley ways, look at shop fronts, wipe at my sweaty fringe. So thirsty.
Look up at giant brick wall of the men only club, listen to the bamboo rustling behind the wall, stand in the coolness of the shade. Leave lt collins, pass the churches on collins. Use surprisingly clean public restroom. Tiny narrow cubicle, rohibitive to fat or many bags. Back up Collins by the kludged wheelchair box office access. Nothing on my mind, nothing to see, nothing to do. People looking at met strangely. I wonder why. Then remember I've got monster batwings. WOnder if they're smudged, or look like a walk of shame home or if i look like a house frau. So thirsty. Glad the city isn't its usul buzz. Cross to other side of town. dashed plans of Fitzroy gardens. Cross elizabeth st, get a call. 20 mins, 10 mins bro in city. Spot bro in a demin jacket, weird looks 80's, think of jack the ripper. leave for melbourne central. can't stop yawning. wait for train. Trin goes round to flinders st. wait, wait, wait. Move seats so we dont travel backwards. i eat pineapple sweets, bro eats lollies that make his tongue turn black.
I think of the lolly kablue-ee/kerbluewie/kablooee. what ever it was called, the sweet i had as a kid that you sucked and it made your whole mouth blue, like when you chew a pen and get ink everywhere. but now that name ka-blew-ee, now it sounds so child inappropriate, now sounds like slang for blowing a load in someones face. Dude did you tony danza that chick, nah man i kablewied her *high five*
young mother and 2 children get on the train. Little boy about to crack big time because he didn;t get to press the open door button. Dont want to hear a crying toddler. Mother holds off giving them easter eggs. Children no pleased. Little girl looks odd, wonder why -- no eyeborws-- interesting. Her face seems incomplete, maybe they;re blonde or will grow in. Maybe she had an acident. Children get an egg each, boy makes a major mess, drops half of his egg on the ground. Mother says you will die if you eat things from the train floor. Little girl gives someof her chocolate to little brother.
Train to frankston, Frankston, Funkytown, the Fston. slowing for station, pass the 'family planning' clinic on the dero end of the street.
Disembark. Still making way home.

2010-03-29T21:01:00.000+11:00

frik frak crushinator!

slide in

2010-03-26T22:35:00.002+11:00

Not in the city hearing the F1.
Looking for a new job stat.
Enjoying reading.

2010-03-24T15:49:00.000+11:00

so so sooooo stupid.

zombie zombie zombie zombie zombie, BRAINS!!!!

2010-03-22T00:55:00.003+11:00

zombie zombie zombie zombie zombie, BRAINS!!!!

All the love for the dude at the comic store, He was all chatty, when i wasn't, he wasn't. Bless you kind sir and your ability to pick up on the not wanting to shoot the breeze.

All the love for blue biro drawings, blindly drawn on to envelopes.

AND
All the love for subtle back handers...making the other person make the decision.

No love for sore shoulder, sewing a dress too small, bad instant coffee, not being able to sleep, lovecats earworm!

2010-03-21T15:27:00.002+11:00

writing and researching, but too easily distracted by bad bad tv movies....most recently turner and hooch. I fucking hate tom hanks

2010-03-20T16:36:00.002+11:00

coconut and copious amount of gooey malt biscuit dough....ugh, not feeling good....plus chicken noodle broth ....ugh, ill, feeling ill.

in for the money

2010-03-20T14:11:00.001+11:00

It may have taken a long time and numerous hints, but I finally get it.

yes there is potential.

2010-03-14T14:01:00.003+11:00

LOVE: condensed milk
garlic
Boys skateboarding on my street

NO LOVE: street louts making chimp noises at 2am
crawfish and/or crayfish

2010-03-12T12:06:00.001+11:00

Frak frak frak, mother fraker of all frakness. FRAK

what's that? oh, it's a spider bite.

2010-03-11T16:32:00.000+11:00

And when I told her I didn't love her anymore,
She cried.
And when I told her, her kisses were not like before,
She cried.
And when I told her another girl had caught my eye,
She cried.
And I kissed her, with a kiss that could only mean goodbye.

Who can say-the horrors (with excerpt from she cried--Jay and the americans)
Currently my favourite song. Makes me want to dance and jump about in my underwear......

when i told her

2010-03-11T07:42:00.002+11:00

not a morning person. REALLY not a morning person.

Every day when my alarm goes off it's the same things. snooze button snooze button snooze button....shit, running late for work.
Every night it's the same thing....go to bed earlier, go to bed earlier....shit it's after 1 and i'm still reading.

Zibellino, zibellini

2010-03-08T22:41:00.002+11:00

Amazed at how sleep makes me feel so much better.
somewhat human again, with a brain that is processing ideas, questions, possibilities and even speech....haven't slipped accent in a while.

I think this may have come too late. maybe. we'll see.

2010-03-04T21:07:00.002+11:00

ice cream, movie, chatting make for an awesome combo, but still not enough to pull up from uber tiredness. ugh, so much to do, but running low on everything. effort. awakeness. ability.

sleep on the long weekend should fix this.

INSERT COIN HERE

2010-02-28T22:29:00.007+11:00

INSERT COIN HERE Begins March 1st.......

Where and when?
Mon 1 March - Sat 6 March Craft Victoria: 31 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

Tue 8 March - Sat 13 March Captains of Industry: Level 1, 2 Somerset Place, Melbourne (off Little Bourke Street)

Sun 14 March - Sun 21 March Alice Euphemia: Shop 6, Cathedral Arcade, 37 Swanston Street, Melbourne

Mon 22 March - Wed 31 March The Thousands Shop: Level 6, Curtin House, 252 Swanston Street, Melbourne

Check the website for more details and info on the artists!
www.insertcoinhere2010.blogspot.com

2010-02-27T16:05:00.000+11:00

Ha more murky than ever before...

2010-02-18T23:42:00.001+11:00

phone and computer will not sync....boo hiss, i just want to bluetooth a photo...

eh, creativity, there you are!

2010-02-15T21:33:00.005+11:00

Currently working on a proposal with Caroline McCurdy....fun as all frak!
We're modifying a previous idea relating to the Yeti, developing it more and hoping to find a gallery space for it.

I'm captivated by bear/dog noses, baboon teeth, nipples, hair, hair, hair, long fingers and pom-poms.

Super enthusiastic, and a pleasant change to come home from work and do sketches or sewing or materials play!
Photos

Also, I'm workng on a solo exhibition proposal. Kinda scary, if i get a space, it'll be my first solo show, not sure if i'd know how to arrange all of the details......but fingers crossed my concepts are solid enough that the proposal get accepted first time round and doesn't have to be shopped around...

Things I have discovered.....

2010-02-01T17:40:00.002+11:00

....part one
The more stressed I am the more oddly dressed I become. Coping mechanism- Nope. I think my brain just has trouble putting together relative clothing ensembles.
Today was an outstanding exhibition of deranged dressing. My office place must love me
^-^

coop

2010-01-31T20:07:00.002+11:00

Not depressed, just meh. Really tired, sore body. My arm and sewing hand are out of whack. Not looking forwards to the work week.

I had to leave real early

2010-01-30T16:46:00.001+11:00

not sure what to do......brain = fuzzy logic
eh well plenty of distractions......

charcutiers

2010-01-11T21:52:00.001+11:00

...brain in overload..........

Des yeux fixes et froids

2010-01-10T19:47:00.001+11:00

I have no idea what to do now.

crowing in the new year

2010-01-02T17:24:00.002+11:00

mum's wedding gown + my crow

the damned

2009-12-15T22:43:00.001+11:00

This is the girl and this is her lover;
This guy's not happy, this guy's her brother;
This is his gang and these are their skills;
This is the boat that outruns their wheels;
These are the cliffs where the pair are chased;
These are the ones who inhabit the place;
These are the guys with the terrible plan;
Eight thirty next Saturday...These Are the Damned.

from abc's promo.

Love love LOVE Oliver Reed and his attire

This is the girl and this is her lover;

2009-12-14T07:21:00.003+11:00

four days left of work for the year.......still need to get plans together for 2010. Will investigate further and apply for some programmes..................or something to get back on track creatively. It feels like all year i have been on hiatus, even though i did 2 exhibitions and some stuff, i missed out on proposal cut off dates so i will not be having any shows next year.
I have no idea how i managed to miss important dates like that.

not top tier

2009-12-04T19:09:00.002+11:00

echelon echelon echelon........nope still haven't been admitted to the ranks. m'nerve!

MAMAN!!!!!

2009-11-06T12:43:00.001+11:00

::::::
::::::
::::::

I want to ride a white horse

2009-10-21T21:03:00.003+11:00

The work week always makes me feel so separate from people...like there's not enough time to catch up with friends, act out or do anything. I just feel sleepy.

Plus I haven;t had a weekend in ages where i've just slept in or lazed about.
What did you do last weekend?
oh not much, i painted some stuff, i moved hay and cleaned up rat shit

what are you doin on the weekend
Nothing new, just shearing

What are you plans
sleep!

minion duties

2009-10-11T22:19:00.003+11:00

ma mère: can you draw up those templates today
me: no way maman, if you draw them, i can cut them for you.

I ended drawing 4 patterns, sized them large and small, cut out all 8 templates, then sewed 3 toys.
I haven't sewed a lot in a while, and now it feels not quite right to have an empty hand or a bed free from thread. I enjoyed making mum's stuff, it was soooo quick to sew. Each item under 20 mins to cut, hand-sew, stuff and detail...a rapid prototype of craft.

ma mère: you're finished cutting? i'm still pinning mine.

Today i was a sewing minion (the exact thing i'm always finding i need to help me at times). I worked under direction and made things I personally didn't like, or were not my taste. It was easy to be a sewing robot, no real design or creative input, just follow instructions and check off first with maman to see if it meets her approval.

me: I like the animal ones, but i'm not making any of the human ones.
me: why are there feet? they are silly maman, cut them off. I'm not making a template with feet.

Day of bliss.

2009-09-25T21:41:00.002+10:00

The barracks finally has its power hooked up, meaning i can now plug stuff in the powerpoints instead of an extension lead outside.............which means
::::::::Tomorrow:::::::
Tape deck blaring cranked cassette noise
+ portable heater + painting spines + mounting bat, lizard and bird head frames + solitude.

Possible photography.

2009-08-23T19:29:00.002+10:00

naive not stupid.

The loveless

2009-08-12T21:12:00.002+10:00

.26.
..Another year passed, another year aged..
...knackered...

monsieur canary

2009-07-27T21:54:00.004+10:00

I'm really enamoured by our canary. It has made this head piece the show stopper of the bunch. It still smells like bird. In fact it smells like our pet budgie Captain Beaky, which at first was really off putting.
Ben brought the canary over tonight, and as i unwrapped the little thing, i kinda felt bad for it, like a recipient of something the cat had killed, then instead of leaving it on the doorstep, had wrapped up for me......hmmm, anyway it was really weird. I didn;t think i should be so excited to peruse its stuffed body....but he, the canary is so frickin awesome.

I, even, I, can play dead

2009-07-17T16:25:00.004+10:00

the first few seconds of Nietzsche + strawberry starburst + sewing = overwhelmed with intense happiness i pressed out some tears.

WTF/

wonderful knack of awkward

2009-07-07T10:31:00.002+10:00

The Bio-accessories project is coming along nicely, but awfully fast!! I really need to get into gear with making things and making them well.

I don't know if my sewing makes the grade when it comes to craft critique, i'm machining things to be neater and making an effort to steer away from my usual messy style.
It's tough trying to be impeccable!

I'm not as sharp as I think I am.

2009-06-21T10:06:00.005+10:00

crying in the kitchen at 10 am. FUCK.

obtrusive emotions aside, here's the most recent rough drawing/comic of the last in a long line of jacked up conversations i'm forced to have at work.

i think you are the sweetest thing

2009-06-17T23:10:00.004+10:00

On Monday i was in the park filling in some time before work, walking a bit and sitting on a bench deleting message from my phone, and there was this dude who was creepily following me. Like it was weird and creepy and not a coincidence follow. He was walking towards me and as we passed each other he stopped in his tracks, turned around and was walking behind me, so when i sat down on a bench he walked passed, stopped, walked back in front of me and sat at the next bench turned to face in my direction.
When i got up and walked a bit, he rushed up and started to follow me again, and crossed the road with me, then veered away when i went into my building.
It was seriously weird.

Other than that work has been ok, we were given name tags to wear...mandatory to wear in the office....lame, but in a couple of weeks i'll be working the 9-5pm shift, so i don;t care anymore.

Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money,

2009-06-15T22:43:00.004+10:00

och, tired....and it feels like my brain has been coasting, no reason for actual thought.
the list of things to do seems to be getting longer and longer, with hardly anything being struck off, which is really weird.
I wonder where i keep finding work to do, without ever getting previous work completed. I suppose it's because i'm choosing to snooze in the late morning before work rather than getting up and doing stuff.

I ate so much for dinner, i think i may have to go float in the bath for a bit.

rabbit or a habit

2009-06-09T23:44:00.004+10:00

While the rain came pouring down, i was lying in bed really really not wanting to go to work. My alarm went off, so i hit the snooze button again and again, until i finally dragged my self down out from my doona cocoon.
I think i have come to realise that the concept of my job is far less appealing than the reality. Really all i do is sit on my butt and listen to answering machines mostly being bored shitless....but this conclusion may be impacted by the fact that today wasn't awful, even though i was assigned to a project i dislike.....

Anyway, i'm not sure if i hate my work, or if by hating the idea of my work let's me get enjoyment by bitching about it. I do know being called love, darl or sweetheart equates with me speaking with a condescending arse.

At least there is money going in to my bank account and so far this has been enough of a drawcard not to take a sickday or go home early.

My work related comics have ground to a halt, absolutely no motivation to finish off any doodles that get started, but i have regained some energy to work on exhibition pieces for october. Sewing in bed is great. waking up covered in thread is not so great.

2009-06-01T10:09:00.002+10:00

reading a book by candle light in the bath=super

Seriously, a 2am bath is the best.

Daddy I want a pony

2009-05-30T19:43:00.002+10:00

THis morning while having a major lie-in, i realised how awesome bed forts are.

??

2009-05-28T21:23:00.002+10:00

work is bringing in a new dress code, and i'm not to sure how i feel about. They're upgrading from casual to business casual.
Guess there's no more rolling out of bed and grabbing clothes then heading off to work.
They want our dress etiquette to reflect the business, but no one ever sees us....like ever.
but then, I like ties and they fortify my geekiness.

^^Rant^^

2009-05-26T21:15:00.003+10:00

I really wonder why they think it's ok to go into my bedroom when i'm not home and take my towels.....seriously it's not ok, now i have to do washing at a damned ridiculous hour, because they are selfish. I'm not here to do your laundry, I take care of my own, and my freshly laundered towels are not for your use. Gah! It pisses me off that i'm expected to cook and clean up after you. I'm not a housewife, I wasn't raised as a fucking 50's archetype cleaver happy home maker. Keep your mitts off my stuff and out of my room, and don't be a git when i come home at 9pm after a shit day of work and cook a meal for myself and not you.

Fer cyrin' out loud *bangs head against wall*

A-OKAY

2009-04-26T22:12:00.004+10:00

flying high on a full belly and rock candy. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

yup, that's the vein, right there.

2009-04-22T23:18:00.003+10:00

This past week work has been sucky, and although it's really only midweek, I've found myself being redonk tired....like actually having to drag myself out of bed to get off to work. It's not the job per se, but I think more the fact it's become routine, and i've become affected by the mundane.
EHN. also my back and butt are killing me from sitting down for so long!

So now i'm trying to do little things to make me happy. Some cake, a bath, a good book, and working on creative projects as a way to buck up.
Not sure how well this 'little things' plan will go, but i'm off to watch some bill bailey which is always a great thing.

One things work has done is gotten me itching to draw again!

the deer

2009-04-21T21:00:00.002+10:00

I purchased a deer head for my sister. He is a Rusa stag and was shot and mounted in '76 in Papua New Guinea. Very very awesome.
At the moment he's living on the kitchen table amongst the fruit bowl, a crowbar and a heap of other crap.

more pupppies

2009-04-20T09:35:00.003+10:00

Puppies! My beautiful puppies!!
Yep, I brought more plant with me to my desolate balcony. A Dahila, a cactus, a couple of Basil and more more more succulents.

My plants make me happier even though i worry about them in Melbourne's stormy weather.

My children of the corn.....er succulents

2009-04-14T09:13:00.003+10:00

On monday, I potted up some baby succulents to bring back to the city with me for a tiny patch of green on my vast desolate balcony.

They traveled up in a six pack wine carton, and after hearing about the guy who got slashed across the chest by a dudes who wanted his bottle of barcardi, I was hoping that no one was silly enough to mistake my plants for liquor.

Anyway my little babies arrive safely and spent their first night in their new home.

Royal Spoonbill

2009-04-13T12:57:00.003+10:00

After I added the yellow brows...GAH! a tad evil looking! Anyway he still needs the pupils added to its eyes, and to be glued to its backing mount.
I was thinking that if I added mating season plumage to his head, it might soften the evilness of the face situation....

more photos over here

FRUIT OOZE IS WETLY LEWD

2009-04-07T23:39:00.003+10:00

So I have a new job working for NAB in their CISAC department and as yet i have not been working for a month, but it has really, really drained me.
But i can't complain, because it's better than unemployment :)

Anyway I have almost finished sewing a Royal Spoonbill head, and will make a backing mount for it over the Easter break. At first after making the beak, I wasn't certain it would be ok, but now the beak and head are attached together, I quite like it....and will post photos soon.

I spotted the most amazing gift that i want to get for my sister as a house warming present. It's at Wunderkammer and it's a taxidermied Raven. Beautiful! But probably a bit out of my price range at the moment. There are also some kick ass ducks (cheaper) and some foxes! Really really nice things.

folded

2009-02-18T22:58:00.002+11:00

making applications for crushing jobs in the hopes of money and getting my flat back. ugh now my art work is on the back burner, can't buy materials

give the past the slip

2009-02-03T15:17:00.004+11:00

I finally got around to wrapping a birthday present for a friend. I had finished making the present before their birthday...but as i still haven't got around to sending it off to them, it is rather belated.
I acquired the wrapping style from a place i worked a trial at. I didn't get the job, but I picked up some insider gift wrapping info.
Bear with branch body repeated within a diamond pattern.

A-M-O-E-B-A

2009-02-02T18:41:00.001+11:00

Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba
Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba

Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba
Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba Ameoba

Ameobaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

and when at last my work is done..

2009-02-01T15:50:00.004+11:00

Right now I'm happy to kick back and do a bit of sewing, some experimentation for the exhibition, DIY building/research, and animal husbandry things...
But i'm not really doing anything and it doesn't take long before I feel like i'm doing fuck all.
I don't know, I think that my complete inability to get work has pushed me into reviving attempts to get Melbourne stores to stock my work...although I might cave in and apply for a telesales job. Argh.

I think i'll work on my portfolio, and make some improvements to my promo packs. Then hit up the Melbourne scene to find a home for my products.

I have plans to turn my flat in a proper studio space where i can 1. Have a good space to work with storage 2. Showcase work and projects in development 3. Invite clients and interested parties to do business or look at stuff.
As a part of this I have been reorganising things, and it has reinvigorated one project that was becoming rather stale. Also my names database for my toys is huge. I hope to one day use all of them.

2009-01-18T15:05:00.006+11:00

I got the news a couple of days ago that a proposal a friend and I had put in to Westspace had been rejected. And it really sucks.
Now we're planning on what to do next. Should we continue with our project and try for another venue? or try to get funding? or just leave it?
I have confidence in our concept and letting it go would be like putting the family dog to sleep, when it has no life threatening injuries/diseases.

My strike rate for first round exhibition proposal acceptance is 0-2. So i would really like to know what's wrong with what I'm doing and how to change my approach to be more successful.I have plans for two solo exhibitions and I really want to get it right, and get green lit first time around....and not have to scrounge for a venue.

The longer i am out of Uni the less I feel connected with Design and the stronger the ties grow with being an artist. However continually teetering on the edge with failure is making me question the relevance of what i make and the legitimacy in calling myself an artist.

Perhaps things will be clearer after some sleep and SPOOK COUNTRY!!!

passerine

2009-01-07T10:00:00.004+11:00

I had another sucktacular job interview. I was completely off my game and when i left the interviewer address me as Reneé...and i didn't bother to correct her.
I don't expect to hear back from the company. Pfffft.

Laying in bed last night i was thinking about sizes/sizing of toys i make. A buyer commented on how much bigger the deer was, to what they had imagined it to be. I don't think 30cm is all that large, but it is a comfortable size to work with.
Once you start making smaller deer, just as much work goes into making it, but it becomes more fiddly to sew. I made a tiny 12cm deer for my dad, it was a nightmare!!

For a while i have been contemplating making a larger deer, twice the size or bigger. When i first started thinking about doing this, I was restricted by material...the dimensions of the roll...but now i can make my own felt, i can make a sheet of any size.
But a big deer is not something i would make to sell online, I want it to be an exhibition piece, or one of many exhibition pieces. I guess i'll look around for available spaces and nut out a proposal. Add this to a 'who killed cock robin themed proposal i'm working on and a reinvivorated 'new holland' exhibition and hopefully the 'beasts least seen' exhibit, things are looking nice and busy on the art side.

Now if i could just get some employment to fund these projects :)

singing A-moe-ba

2008-12-20T18:23:00.002+11:00

Today was the due date for two of our girls to give birth. Neither popped their babies. Bummer. Can't wait for some Suri babies on the ground.

not a pleb but will work as one

2008-12-12T18:50:00.003+11:00

I had a job interview the other day and left feeling like i pretty much had it in the bad. WRONG. Didn't get it, just an email telling me i was unsuccessful. I'm beginning to think that i am unemployable.
Also hit a stumbling block in getting my stuff into shops. Gah
My sis finally put up her website for her alpaca stud Nocturne Alpacas

Daedalea quercina

2008-12-05T11:02:00.002+11:00

The last two mornings i have woken up feeling overly tired with a heavy hearted sadness, which is a very strange way to start off the day. I have been having a recurring dream where i am hysterically crying, the full works; blotchy face, snotty nose, streaming tears, shuddering body. This morning i awoke to find myself snivelling and felt such great emptiness i thought i would burst into tears. In my dreams a close friend dies and i'm in a big auditorium with tiered seating full of people. I move down to the front row and the person next to me hugs me, pulls me into them and we sit there with them stroking my hair telling me 'it's ok, you're ok'

It's horrible to wake up feeling grief stricken and not knowing whether it's true or a dream. It really puts a dampener on the rest of the day.

Shuffle off this motal coil

2008-12-04T23:56:00.007+11:00

A tiny wren flew into the window this evening and broke its neck. Not knowing what to do with its remains and not wanting for it to get snarfed over night, I gathered its tiny body and Put it in the freezer. I will find somewhere to bury it.

Lately, I have been hearing NO alot. -All the time- alot. However i`ve started this new thing applying for heaps of things and signing up for stuff i usually wouldnt do, spreading myself thin... but it`s not these things that give me the \\NO// it`s things i want to do to improve my art or myself.
Really I have sucktacular sense of timing.

Also I need to make two drawing/sketches/paintings to donate for next week, and work on the second generation of embroidered bird brooches. I still cant draw.hehe

snot true

2008-12-02T19:58:00.003+11:00

I woke up this morning thinking i had sold something on ETSY the previous night. I vividly remember seeing that i had sold an item, but then when i went to check my store this morning....wrong!
I probably should have realised that it was only a dream when i had black snot....
Oh well.

toothy doom

2008-11-22T18:23:00.002+11:00

I'm getting my root canal finished in early December! Very exciting and finally some fucking closure on a series of hideously painful toothy doom: week long toothache, tooth abscess, swollen face, draining of abscess, repeating dressing changes for tooth, probing preparation of root canal.

And as a bonus after visiting the dentist sooo many times and being jabbed and prodded i have overcome my fear of dental injections. Brilliant. Still scared as fuck about regular injections that are not anaesthetics

sweet dreams are made of cheese

2008-11-14T20:43:00.004+11:00

I had this dream last night where i was visiting Quentin Tarrantino's home. He had heaps of really cool movie posters and comics. His house was really warm and bright and there was lots of yellow pine wall panelling. I was flipping through a big box of comics looking for something in particular, and Quentin keep butting in and asking me crap. I found him rather annoying and pesky and really fucking amped.... very weird
In other news my mum opened her ETSY store www.eellee.etsy.com she makes hand felted bags, clutch purses, pouches, nuno scarves and wraps.
I did some dodgy product photography for her and heaven forbid i may end up modelling garments *shudder*

oiseaux

2008-10-05T15:16:00.003+11:00

Twitching some Kites and Wrens. Saw some juvenile eastern rosellas, which are a nice change from crimson rosellas.

Watching the wrens have made me decide to use them in the New Holland exhibition. Not sure what kind of meal to make with them...

Birds have been in my dreams. A strange bird with muted colouring like a ground parrot crossed with a love bird.

onredelijk

2008-09-27T16:38:00.004+10:00

I dont understand why you would choose to put down your dog rather than fix the fence...
It is unfortunate that the neighbouring dumbasses have come to the decision that killing their dog is the easier and better solution.

2008-08-03T14:19:00.003+10:00

Since moving in at the farm my brother has ruined two pairs of my fabric scissors......i'm right pissed off and can't afford to buy yet another replacement, so left with two shoddy scissors i am back to using dissection scissors. tu m'nerve!

Anyway, i'm waiting for Doomsday, looks a riot.

2008-08-01T14:53:00.001+10:00

I caught my first kick today. Leg at full extension Thwack! kick. Right on the back of my calve.........luckily not the knee or shin.

Melbourne at night

2008-07-19T15:54:00.002+10:00

Coming back from the Bendigo show into Melbourne

Pimping some press for The Vibrant City

2008-07-18T21:53:00.004+10:00

DG Magazine edition 130 has an article about my work as a design/art/craft practitioner. My toys have made another outing into the press. Yeah!

Because mail should be fun and...SEALAB 2021

2008-07-12T23:49:00.003+10:00

Sparks and Captain Murphy

Sparks: "Okay, the crew is not gonna take this Skip, it's like ... remember the Caine mutiny?"
Cpt Murphy: "Caine Mutiny? I love Michael Caine!"

Materials: Watercolour, white out, ink pen, liquid chalk, mega sharpie (chisel tip)

werribee show

2008-06-22T16:18:00.005+10:00

The Werribee show was good....long but good. I thought the Suri turnout today might have been better, but hey it was still good.

We saw some breeder friends, one unfortunately had forgone his rockabilly do for short back and sides. For an old dude, his hair was awesome... what a shame.
Ian and Paladin, first place black male huacaya (minus his rockabilly do of course)

Shell and Koko (belonging to Ian and Carol) 3rd place intermediate brown female.

fleeting moments of realisation

2008-06-17T12:07:00.005+10:00

Sometimes i find myself wondering how I got into certain situations, where you're doing something and then it becomes very apparent that it is dangerous. For instance earlier today my sister and i were out spraying using a portable trailer spray hitched to the RTV. The boom spray was not working, so I was perched on the trailer using the nozzle attachment as my sister drove along. Nothing big until you can feel yourself bouncing about, or feel the trailer pulling as you drive on a slope. It was very much a sense of deja vu when i was clammering about in the ute picking up hay bales and standing/lurching on the bales stacked higher and higher in the tray as we drove around picking up more and more bales.

Anyway, back to more spraying.

prep is complete

2008-06-05T09:33:00.002+10:00

Finally finished prepping Vlad's fleece so i can get to making felt.

Fibre and decapitation

2008-06-04T14:06:00.005+10:00

I'm making felt, or at least on my way to making felt.
Spent most of yesterday washing a portion of Vlad's fleece from last year. Gah, it was filthy and to think some people prefer to work with raw unwashed fleece, then wash the end product. Gross, not for me.

I had a dream where my sister had decided to dispose of our deer and goat so she could expand her alpaca herd. I was upset and asked that if she went ahead with her plan that we keep Noah's body and have him taxidermied. My sister seemed horrified by this, so i asked if i could at least keep his head and get it mounted. She told me 'NO' as the method of disposal will disfigure his body so it will not be able to be displayed. She described how they use a Hot wire to slice through the head into the brain, before cutting off the head.

pea soup in winter

2008-06-01T10:10:00.001+10:00

Lifting pea soup in the valley.

Monsieur Momo and his Zombie eyes

your water is too chlorinated

2008-05-28T23:06:00.004+10:00

The lilies are cloying.
Bracelet hold was not working.
Gave up on writing an exhibition proposal.
Can't be bothered going to look at Melbourne's grad stuff.
Stuff has been rather tedious and the simplest tasks are drawn out to ridiculous amounts of effort to complete them.

But no longer feeling sickly. Amazed at how a gumboot clad amble through dewy grass puts one in fine fettle.

stocked up

2008-05-21T15:13:00.003+10:00

I think i will go and have a look at this
For some reason my brother wants a sphynx cat (the hairless cat). hmmmm, as long as it doesn't end up living at the farm, our fat cat is more than enough.

Present for maman, i love pleats right now and had to add some

Finally up on etsy

2008-05-18T17:25:00.001+10:00

Henning

Flavien

Glovehearts

2008-05-14T18:15:00.002+10:00

Plaid flannel hearts on hobo gloves. Pajama Love!
I sewed the heart on while wearing the left glove, but couldn't the same wearing the right glove. One day i will be able to sew adaquately with both hands.

Infiltrate imagination

2008-05-10T21:23:00.003+10:00

Our deer has his winter coat. The hair on his face is very thick and soft, unlike the coarse guard hair on his back.
I was out in the rain with the deer today, and instead of stabbing me with his mutant antler, or chewing my clothes to pieces, he was rather subdued and tentative, following me like a shadow standing still while i petted his cheek.
Very docile and at odds with his usual pushy manner.

Still waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for Alien 2.